Tuesday, January 17, 2012

39...The Year of ME

I'm very proud to say that I'm 39.  I don't hide behind my age I get better with age.  I'm like a fine red wine, I get better with age.  OK so enough of me and my obnoxious self.

At first when I set out 2012 it was about what this year was going to do for ME.  All month leading up to today it's been about how I'm going to change this and I'm going to change that and I'm going to do it for me.  Well today I had such mixed emotions knowing that I really can't just do this for ME.  It has to be about others.  Today I realized that I want to improve my health, wellness, waistline, and athletic ability for myself but also so that I can be around a long time for my wonderful husband, so we're able to grow old together and have a fun life, watch our kids grow from babies, to toddlers, to school agers, to middle school, to high school, college, first heartbreak, first time they fall in love and when they get married and have their own kids and finally figure out how GENIUS mom and dad truly are (Yes, Tom & Cathy Syferd...you are genius) ...but seriously this is what I want in my life.  I don't want to be tired because I am to heavy, I want to be tired because I worked my tail off all day and at the end of the day I truly need rest so I can be strong and serve.

Serving to me is showing others love and showing God's grace and mercy.  Serving is taking care of my body so I can serve the way I feel the Lord calling me to serve.  I really don't know what this looks like in a year, 2 years, etc but I know God does.

Today while running I was really not having a good run.  I really just wanted to kind of mope and fizzle.  About half way in I said to myself..come on you can do this....just do it and own it.  Then I remembered my good friend, Connie and her husband, Don and how they started their weight loss journey and their passion of running exactly 2 years ago.  They have come so far and have gained so much of their lives back this is what I want for myself and for Andy.

I realize that while I take time for myself to work on my health and physical appearance that it's not selfish and it's not just about the year of ME it's about the year of you and how on this journey I hope to serve as many as needed.

Thanks for letting me share this with you and thank you for all the well wishes on my facebook wall, emails, texts, and phone calls.  I really like to use my car as a reflection tool and like many I use this time to talk to God.  Just talk.  I guess you'd say prayer but God wants a personal relationship so I talk and He listens and when I am quiet long enough I hear him whisper and I know when I hear that whisper I really need to listen.  I'm so blessed....just beyond measure.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy New Year!!

Hello...I haven't seen you here in a while.  What happened to you?

I am so proud of achieving my goal of completing my half marathon last October.  What I failed to do after doing that was to right away have other events in line to train for and to help stay on focus.  I experienced the post race blues.  The week after the half I was in so much pain there was no way I could work out in the least.  Then I would go to the gym and the pats on the back and way to go's wore off and so did my spirit for running and really for any kind of fitness or weight loss because let's face it...this skinny girl is still trapped in a fat body.

I won't bore you with excuses of why I didn't work out, why I didn't eat right, why I gain 15 pounds from the half to 12/26/11 when I decided that was it.  I'm DONE.  Funny how life comes and goes.  Christmas comes and goes...you have the parties, the food, the wine, cookies, etc and life is just bliss but when it's all over and you're lying in bed on Christmas night reflecting on how you're so thankful for all you have and what events transpired to give us Christmas and as the house is quiet and things are scattered the tired sits in and you start to reflect...man I fell really fat.  I need to get on the scale tomorrow morning and just see the damage and re-start and re-focus.

Side Note here:  Don't you love the idea of a new year?  Maybe I'm just corny that way and if so...I really don't care but I love the thought of a new year.  You get to start fresh and new.  My daughter has been sick this last weekend and I was home with her today and watching the Today Show on NBC and there was a woman on the show talking about willpower and how we all have it but we have to train it.  It's just like training for a race...You don't just say I'm going to run 13.1 miles and do it tomorrow, it takes time to be able to build up to the point of being able to do that race and it takes willpower.  We have to flex our willpower muscles.  I thought that was just a brilliant idea!

The morning of 12/26/11 I get on the scale and see the dreaded number  and think holy Sh*t what have I done!?!?!?!  The past me would have started crying and internalized telling myself how much of a failure I was and how sure I did this half marathon thing but you didn't "run it" you're not a real runner you had to walk more than half of the race, blah, blah, blah ....self hate, self hate, self hate.... Rather than do all that I said this is it I'm taking myself back.  NO MORE EXCUSES.   I told Andy, my husband, the number on the scale and I said I'm not telling you this for pitty or for you to coddle me and try to fix it but I'm telling you so you know where I'm starting and you can help hold me accountable the way I'm going to hold you accountable.  I came to the realization that I either do it or I don't and you know what if I don't I'm only hurting yourself and those that love me the most.  Since December 26th I've worked out daily.  I've ran 6 miles total and I've worked out (non-running) for a total of 110 minutes.

So my plans for 2012 are to train like there is no finish line.  Life is a daily race and I have to endure it and finish it.  I am hoping to have an event planned for every month in 2012 so that I can stay focused on the event and know what is coming and know what I have to train for physically and mentally.  January I'm going to train like no other.  I'm going to kick my own A$% in the gym (by the way my gym got a rowing machine...I can not wait to kill that thing), The annual red flannel run is on Feb 11th, American Lung Association's Fight For Air Climb is in March.  This will be my 3rd year doing this climb.  April, Loop the Lake, May..Not sure...June Dam to Dam and I want to do the 20K, July, August and September not sure but October RUN (not walk at all) The Des Moines Marathon (for me the half).

To help aid in my weight loss I'm currently doing an online challenge on SparkPeople doing the January Jump Start and that combines strength and cardio together.  I will win the iPad 2 as the grand prize (yea right but a girl can dream can't she??), In February the gym I'm a member of is starting a Kosama type work out program and I'm going to join that and of course run as well.

So that is where I've been and where I'm going.  I have claimed 2012 to be MY year!  I will be 39 years old on January 17th and I will not go into my 40's being obese.  So bye bye you great little girl who is almost 39 and chubby and here's to 40 and fabulous!!!  I can't wait to see how 2012 unfolds.