Sorry for being absent. I haven't felt like I had much to share or inspiring.
I realized today that I am so blessed beyond measure and I have to write about it. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I had the glass as half full outlook this whole time because I have not. Yesterday I was on the fine line between sanity and going totally nuts. Needless to say I cried so much yesterday that I had two puffy eyes this morning.
We realized recently we owe close to $1000 in medical expenses from last year. We also need to have repair work done on my Lady Bug (VW Beetle) that is about $500. Then over the weekend our fridge which is probably about 30 years old decided to quit working and then my husbands wonderful Uncle Donnie passed away last night.
That sounds like a bad country western song right? WRONG. Praise God for tax return season. We are getting enough back to pay off all of our medical expense, get my repairs done on the car, get a new fridge and save for another emergency. Because as you know Murphy's Law will strike again and when you least expect it!
So how does this all entail me being a skinny girl trapped in a fat body....through all of this I did very little emotional eating and I worked out like a crazy woman! I think the treadmill and stair climber have had their fair share of me.
I am doing the Couch to 5K program to help build my endurance and strength to become a half marathon runner and today I started week 4 day 1. It called to walk for 5 minutes to warm up, run for 3 minutes, walk for 90 seconds, run for 5 minutes, walk for 2.5 minutes, run for 3 minutes, walk for 90 seconds, run for 5 minutes, and then cool down for 5 minutes of walking. This fatty hasn't ran for 5 minutes straight since high school (coming up on 20 years...where did that time go). Today was so emotional for me with this run...I did something a year ago I never dreamed of...I ran for 5 minutes 2 times and 3 minutes 2 times. It was tough and I wanted to quit and I swore I was going to puke but I didn't. Thank God for running on an empty stomach (well several hours after my egg beater omelet) because I would have lost it. Plus with the outflow of blessing that I realized we have with our tax refund being able to help us out.
Good news today too....Andy found out that the tumor in his leg was not cancerous and he's healing well. He is still having a hard time getting around but he's healing and will have a full recovery. At this point in time he's set to go back to work on March 14th.
I've realized that no matter what life throws at me I can't turn to food to solve my problems. I need to turn to the Lord first, healthy foods and then the treadmill
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Frustrated with myself
Why do I have to have such a love affair with all food good for me and all food bad? Since last week I've gained 7 pounds. I've still been working out but no matter what I put in my mouth the work outs don't matter.
I admit I've been emotional eating and comfort eating because it's been easy.
As you know Andy had the tumor from his left thigh removed last Friday. The surgery went well and he's at home recovering very nicely.
I've had a lot of wine to drink, a lot of good for me food to eat and a lot of bad for me food to eat. I hate this love hate relationship I have with food. I hate that it's so easy to just fall back. I really wish the taste of wine would make me want to vomit (not that I drink that much but still) and that the taste of bad food like mexican would make me want to vomit.
So off I go...Off to kill myself in the gym I head. Today is my first day back to work since Andy's surgery so back on track I head too with food.
I admit I've been emotional eating and comfort eating because it's been easy.
As you know Andy had the tumor from his left thigh removed last Friday. The surgery went well and he's at home recovering very nicely.
I've had a lot of wine to drink, a lot of good for me food to eat and a lot of bad for me food to eat. I hate this love hate relationship I have with food. I hate that it's so easy to just fall back. I really wish the taste of wine would make me want to vomit (not that I drink that much but still) and that the taste of bad food like mexican would make me want to vomit.
So off I go...Off to kill myself in the gym I head. Today is my first day back to work since Andy's surgery so back on track I head too with food.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Fake it until you make it....
This has been a tough week for me. As I've shared we found out recently that Andy has a cancerous tumor on his left leg. It is cancer but it is not in danger of taking his life. He has surgery on Friday in Iowa City and once the tumor is gone he should be cancer free. This is good news.... Why then am I kind of sad? I guess it's because I don't want to think about the "C" word and my husband in the same light. Something happening to him would rock my world and not in a good way. I love him so much that I can not imagine what life would be with out him. He is so young (42) he shouldn't have cancer of any kind.
So this week food wise...I admit...I've emotionally ate. The good news I have not gone off the deep end. So I'm learning and this is a process not something that will be fixed over night.
I have not missed a gym day and I don't plan on it either. If it were not for the gym I think I'd be really low right now. Monday I did the C25K (Couch to 5K) work out for week 2 day 1. Tuesday I decided to add the SparkPeople 28 day challenge again and I did day 1 of that work out and 25 minutes on the elliptical. Today I did Day 2 of the 28 day challenge and I did the C25K week 2 day 2 today. The sweat has been my therapy.
PS.....I am so thankful it's going to be nice out this weekend. I can't wait to get outside and RUN!
PSS...I was irritated today that my lunch room did not have cottage cheese...damn it don't they know I'm obsessed with it and they need to keep it stocked at all times just for me!
So this week food wise...I admit...I've emotionally ate. The good news I have not gone off the deep end. So I'm learning and this is a process not something that will be fixed over night.
I have not missed a gym day and I don't plan on it either. If it were not for the gym I think I'd be really low right now. Monday I did the C25K (Couch to 5K) work out for week 2 day 1. Tuesday I decided to add the SparkPeople 28 day challenge again and I did day 1 of that work out and 25 minutes on the elliptical. Today I did Day 2 of the 28 day challenge and I did the C25K week 2 day 2 today. The sweat has been my therapy.
PS.....I am so thankful it's going to be nice out this weekend. I can't wait to get outside and RUN!
PSS...I was irritated today that my lunch room did not have cottage cheese...damn it don't they know I'm obsessed with it and they need to keep it stocked at all times just for me!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Ode to Cottage Cheese, Celery & Peanut Butter
Oh how I love thee... You make a perfect lunch for me.
So you guessed it...right now I'm eating cottage cheese, celery and peanut butter. So good! I seriously think I could eat a tub of cottage cheese a day!
Food wise this past weekend. Not great but not horrible. Andy made the BEST steak EVER on Saturday. I swear that man is the best cook. I'm so blessed to have a man that is not only passionate about me but about his food that he serves his family. I'm also blessed to have a man that cooks period. My mom used to tell me while growing up "You'd better hope you find a man that likes to cook." Luck me, I did! I don't mind cooking but I don't enjoy it near the amount that Andy does.
Yesterday was the Superbowl.....To say I'm a happy girl today is an under statement. I love love love the Greenbay Packers. Sad that the season is over but as a fan of the Packers I'm just thrilled.
I'm doing the couch to 5K running program. Today started week 2 day 1: walk for 5 minutes, run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes, continue for 20 minutes then do a 5 minute cool down. HOLY COW that extra 30 seconds of running is tough but it feels so good! I seriously love this. I can't wait to continue on this journey and see what is front of me.
I'm not a big fan of Oprah but thought this was a good quote:
"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."
-Oprah Winfrey
So you guessed it...right now I'm eating cottage cheese, celery and peanut butter. So good! I seriously think I could eat a tub of cottage cheese a day!
Food wise this past weekend. Not great but not horrible. Andy made the BEST steak EVER on Saturday. I swear that man is the best cook. I'm so blessed to have a man that is not only passionate about me but about his food that he serves his family. I'm also blessed to have a man that cooks period. My mom used to tell me while growing up "You'd better hope you find a man that likes to cook." Luck me, I did! I don't mind cooking but I don't enjoy it near the amount that Andy does.
Yesterday was the Superbowl.....To say I'm a happy girl today is an under statement. I love love love the Greenbay Packers. Sad that the season is over but as a fan of the Packers I'm just thrilled.
I'm doing the couch to 5K running program. Today started week 2 day 1: walk for 5 minutes, run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes, continue for 20 minutes then do a 5 minute cool down. HOLY COW that extra 30 seconds of running is tough but it feels so good! I seriously love this. I can't wait to continue on this journey and see what is front of me.
I'm not a big fan of Oprah but thought this was a good quote:
"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it."
-Oprah Winfrey
Thursday, February 3, 2011
BAD DAY!!!
I really dread writing today however I am doing my best to write every day so I can hold myself accountable.
I fell..I fell hard today. This has been one of the worst days I've had in a VERY long time. Tonight for supper I fell face first in a pizza. I only at 2 pieces and 2 pieces of cheese bread. Still very bad but in my "fat" days I would have eat almost half the pizza and several more cheese sticks.
Today was one of those days that I wished I was 8 years old and my worst thing that happened to me today is I didn't get to check out the library book I was hoping for.
1st.... the un-welcome monthly visitor showed up (it should be mandatory that once you're done having kids this part of being a woman is over too)
2nd....Andy was honest with workman's comp several months ago about his hip injury that lead us to find out that he has a cancerous tumor in his leg and the wonderful workman's comp denied his claim saying his injury was not work related (if you want the full details just ask and I'll tell you but I'll spare the details for now). So we turned in all the medical bills to our insurance company, Coventry, and they paid most of his medical bills. Fast forward to Monday...we get a message on our voicemail saying this is so and so with Dr. ____ and we have an outstanding medical bill from November that we need taken care of ASAP (not in those exact words but you get the point.) So Andy calls our insurance provider. Coventry goes on to tell him that doctor is an out of network doctor and they are not going to pay for those visits. HELLO my husbands employer sent him to that doctor because it was a work related injury. So guess who is stuck paying $1000 to a doctor that we've never had a relationship with...YEP...The Lehman's. Please let me bend over and pull that $1000 out of my *beep* for you. So we're screwed from workman's comp and we're screwed from our insurance company. This is what you get when being honest. The man wonders why there is fraud? Damn us for being honest and NOT trying to cheat the system.
3rd...I don't post a whole ton on Facebook or here about the issues we have with my son, Jack (I don't like to post "bad news" or be a downer, for me most of the time the glass is half full). I love that little man with all my heart and soul but he is a tough nut to crack. 98% of the time he's perfect and precious but that 2% of the time....it's tough.... He is just like any other normal 5 year old boy but he's also on the very high end of the autism spectrum. Today at 11:15 I get a call from his preschool teacher (Jack is in his 3rd year of pre-school with the early childhood special ed through the DM School district) telling me that Jack can not get on the bus because it is not safe for the other children or the bus driver. Meaning that Jack was in the midst of a violent rampage. So I have to leave work, get him from school, take him back to daycare and go back to work. Jack has been having some pretty serious fits lately. Just being nasty to Anna (our 8 year old) and just causing a lot of disruption. Tonight was haircut night for us. Jack marches into the salon and gets a sucker. Fine but then he wanted another one. I told him no that he could get another one once he was good and got his hair cut. When we put the suckers up where he couldn't reach them all hell broke out. The ladies that cut our hair got to see in the flesh what it looks like when he's having a meltdown.
So that was my day today. 99% of the time I have a very blessed and charmed life but today was just one of those days that just can't end soon enough. The monthly visitor will end, I will return to my normal upbeat self, the medical bills will be paid, and Jack will be a great little man again. Thank goodness God gives us a chance to start over every day.
I fell..I fell hard today. This has been one of the worst days I've had in a VERY long time. Tonight for supper I fell face first in a pizza. I only at 2 pieces and 2 pieces of cheese bread. Still very bad but in my "fat" days I would have eat almost half the pizza and several more cheese sticks.
Today was one of those days that I wished I was 8 years old and my worst thing that happened to me today is I didn't get to check out the library book I was hoping for.
1st.... the un-welcome monthly visitor showed up (it should be mandatory that once you're done having kids this part of being a woman is over too)
2nd....Andy was honest with workman's comp several months ago about his hip injury that lead us to find out that he has a cancerous tumor in his leg and the wonderful workman's comp denied his claim saying his injury was not work related (if you want the full details just ask and I'll tell you but I'll spare the details for now). So we turned in all the medical bills to our insurance company, Coventry, and they paid most of his medical bills. Fast forward to Monday...we get a message on our voicemail saying this is so and so with Dr. ____ and we have an outstanding medical bill from November that we need taken care of ASAP (not in those exact words but you get the point.) So Andy calls our insurance provider. Coventry goes on to tell him that doctor is an out of network doctor and they are not going to pay for those visits. HELLO my husbands employer sent him to that doctor because it was a work related injury. So guess who is stuck paying $1000 to a doctor that we've never had a relationship with...YEP...The Lehman's. Please let me bend over and pull that $1000 out of my *beep* for you. So we're screwed from workman's comp and we're screwed from our insurance company. This is what you get when being honest. The man wonders why there is fraud? Damn us for being honest and NOT trying to cheat the system.
3rd...I don't post a whole ton on Facebook or here about the issues we have with my son, Jack (I don't like to post "bad news" or be a downer, for me most of the time the glass is half full). I love that little man with all my heart and soul but he is a tough nut to crack. 98% of the time he's perfect and precious but that 2% of the time....it's tough.... He is just like any other normal 5 year old boy but he's also on the very high end of the autism spectrum. Today at 11:15 I get a call from his preschool teacher (Jack is in his 3rd year of pre-school with the early childhood special ed through the DM School district) telling me that Jack can not get on the bus because it is not safe for the other children or the bus driver. Meaning that Jack was in the midst of a violent rampage. So I have to leave work, get him from school, take him back to daycare and go back to work. Jack has been having some pretty serious fits lately. Just being nasty to Anna (our 8 year old) and just causing a lot of disruption. Tonight was haircut night for us. Jack marches into the salon and gets a sucker. Fine but then he wanted another one. I told him no that he could get another one once he was good and got his hair cut. When we put the suckers up where he couldn't reach them all hell broke out. The ladies that cut our hair got to see in the flesh what it looks like when he's having a meltdown.
So that was my day today. 99% of the time I have a very blessed and charmed life but today was just one of those days that just can't end soon enough. The monthly visitor will end, I will return to my normal upbeat self, the medical bills will be paid, and Jack will be a great little man again. Thank goodness God gives us a chance to start over every day.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Today is a "Work Day"
So on Monday I preached how living healthy and working out is work and it's necessary? You may not want to do it but really you have to in order to sustain your life. That is me today. I think it's related to all this snow and cold we have right now. I didn't get to work today until 9am so today was kind of off. I was *this* close to not going to the gym today but I thought to myself...you have to practice what you preach. I'm not even sure if many read this but I do and writing this down is serious for me because I hold myself accountable and I know that if some one else reads this and is hoping to be moved how can I help that person move if I don't do it? How is me skipping today going to slow me down in my goals to a healthy and fit life? How is skipping today going to help me run my half marathon on 10/16/11?
So I did it.... Today was day 2 of week 1 of the Couch to 5K program. Once I hit the treadmill I knew it was going to be a good work out and I was thankful to be there. On Monday I shared I increased my running speed from 4mph to 4.5mph. Today I increased my speed from 4.5mph to 4.8mph. When it was the 90 seconds of walk time I did 3.1mph vs the 3mph. I know that's a little lame but the running is hard core!
I must confess I did treat myself to a tall skinny mocha today from McDonald's. I loved it but it didn't love me. When am I going to learn that my body just can not take sugar any more. HA! I haven't had one in AGES so once in a blue moon isn't to bad for me. I did count for those calories and I did burn them off so it's all good. Other wise in food news today I've been very good. Really the food thing is getting easier and easier all the time. My body just doesn't crave the bad for you food anymore. I do however log everything that touches my lips. I didn't do this while recovering from having my tonsils removed..HA what was I going to write down...I consumed 500 calories in apple juice today and the rest of the day water.
If you are reading and you want to track my food that I eat feel free to find me on sparkpeople.com and my user name is TIFANO. If you don't use sparkpeople I would encourage you to do so. It's amazing and best of all it's FREE! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE SparkPeople. I'm reading the book "The Spark" on my iPod Touch too. Great book
So I did it.... Today was day 2 of week 1 of the Couch to 5K program. Once I hit the treadmill I knew it was going to be a good work out and I was thankful to be there. On Monday I shared I increased my running speed from 4mph to 4.5mph. Today I increased my speed from 4.5mph to 4.8mph. When it was the 90 seconds of walk time I did 3.1mph vs the 3mph. I know that's a little lame but the running is hard core!
I must confess I did treat myself to a tall skinny mocha today from McDonald's. I loved it but it didn't love me. When am I going to learn that my body just can not take sugar any more. HA! I haven't had one in AGES so once in a blue moon isn't to bad for me. I did count for those calories and I did burn them off so it's all good. Other wise in food news today I've been very good. Really the food thing is getting easier and easier all the time. My body just doesn't crave the bad for you food anymore. I do however log everything that touches my lips. I didn't do this while recovering from having my tonsils removed..HA what was I going to write down...I consumed 500 calories in apple juice today and the rest of the day water.
If you are reading and you want to track my food that I eat feel free to find me on sparkpeople.com and my user name is TIFANO. If you don't use sparkpeople I would encourage you to do so. It's amazing and best of all it's FREE! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE SparkPeople. I'm reading the book "The Spark" on my iPod Touch too. Great book
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Note to self....
Just Say NO to high fiber oatmeal and almonds mixed. I'll spare you the details but my breakfast sidelined me today so I've decided today is my rest day. I'm feeling fine now but taking it easy and sticking to the BRAT diet.
Tomorrow back to running provided I can get to the gym. We are in the midst of a blizzard in Des Moines so who knows if I'll be able to get out tomorrow to hit the gym. These are the days I wish I had a treadmill at home. Regardless I'll do cardio of some form tomorrow.
Hope you're having a great day!
Tomorrow back to running provided I can get to the gym. We are in the midst of a blizzard in Des Moines so who knows if I'll be able to get out tomorrow to hit the gym. These are the days I wish I had a treadmill at home. Regardless I'll do cardio of some form tomorrow.
Hope you're having a great day!
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