Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Warning this is going to most likely be a pitty post and I have already decided I won't link it to my facebook page or share because this post is more just for me but I want to write my feelings out rather than stifle them and act negative vs not talking it out. So if anyone reads this it is because they sought out to read it...

While I know that I've worked so hard to get where I am today I also have so much more work infront of me and now with this injury I'm just sad that my training has in the blink of an eye stopped.  I haven't worked out since last Friday and I almost feel like I'm mourning.  Mourning the loss of a dear friend.  Working out has helped me HUGELY with controlling anxiety and depression and while I know my mind is playing tricks on me right now I can almost feel depression coming back and I want so badly to fight it off but I don't know how.  In the old "Tiffany Days" I would eat.  I won't go back there.  I just won't.  Infact today at work we had a large meeting where cookies where given out to everyone.  One cookie seriously was the size of 4 regular cookies.  I wanted to partake but I know once I have one the downward spiral would slowly come back.

So this is me today...It's 12:30, I'm on my lunch break, writing and I'm feeling really sad.  This could also be a side effect of the prednisone too because I'm on that for the next 5 days. 

If anyone is reading this please keep me on your thoughts and prayers.  My head knows that this is temporary but my heart is just broken.

No comments: