WARNING: This is not going to be a shiny, happy, pretty blog post
What motivates you? For me I would always say it was my family that motivated me, my friends who have been successful in their fitness and weight loss journeys, great sayings with pretty fit women posing their hot rock hard bodies telling us to “Just do it”, a community of like minded people doing what you’re doing in life and succeeding (for example, SparkPeople, dailymile and facebook groups). All of these are great tools to help one stay motivated and they have helped me.
I’m no longer motivated but I’m on FIRE! You want to know what has put a fire under my butt…HATERS! Until recently I’ve NEVER experienced what it was like to truly have someone bash me for trying to be the best that I can be for myself, my husband and my kids.
Back story quick…As you know my 6 year old is on the high end of the autism spectrum and was diagnosed when he was 3 years old (his official Dx is PDD-NOS and he has been and still at times can be very physically aggressive because his expressive language is delayed) and we’ve done all we can do and will always do all we can do to make him the best child he can be. Recently I was told by someone this: “Jack (my son) won't behave is because you spend time on so many things, marathons, magazine competitions, holistic therapies, while never being trained by a professional behavior specialist (we've been seeing trained professionals since he was 3) on how to care for your child. You were told by multiple people to get Jack evaluated and get services from the day he was diagnosed and you waited ...what...2...3 years while you, your children, and children of others got beat up (Jack has received services since he was Dx, not stated funded services until very recently...read below for that update).” When I first read that I thought OMG how can anyone say such hateful things to me and I felt like I wanted to die and in true Tiffany Lehman fashion cried like a baby, full on cry, not being able to breathe cry, shoulders moving up and down, belting out weird noises cry, face red and headache cry…you get the picture. I felt guilty for trying to better myself so I can be better for Andy, Anna, Jack, other family members, friends, God, work, etc. I spent a lot of time letting that comment really get to me and it hurt to the bottom of my soul.
So now the sadness and anger is over and it’s full on! How dare I let someone more or less tell me I’m a bad parent because I want to get out of the morbidly obese range and be fully present in the lives of those that I love the most and those that need me to show up. How dare I try to make my sons symptoms of autism be treated first and foremost by diet, vitamins, minerals, thearipies, etc before I turn to western medicne. How dare I give this person the time of day because the more time I give this person in my mind means that I care and you know what I DON'T. What I do care about is being the best me I can be, being the best wife I can be, being the best mother I can be, being the best friend I can be, etc, etc, etc. So you know what I say to the haters…BRING IT ON…You will no longer get a second of my time, you have no power over me but I will channel your anger, your bitterness and your venom to push me to be stronger and to do all that I can do for myself, my husband and my kids.
So I guess in the end…Maybe I should thank this person???? We’ll see how the results pan out, with my son, with my journey to be fit, healthy and to continue to be the best wife and mom I can be. I will say to this person thank you for giving me the blazing fire that I need to make sure that I am the best me I can be and we are the best family we can be.
For anyone wondering how Jack is doing right now…Autism is a daily thing and it will never just go away after taking 10 days of medicine like an ear infection. It is here for the long haul but I can report nothing but good news. Jack is doing amazing! He is doing so well in school, he’s bright, he’s communicating his needs and wants much better, he’s getting along well with his teachers and peers and he’s also being really nice to his big sister, Anna. What the teachers tell him to do he’s doing without causing any troubles for them, transactions are easier for him (he struggled going from a desired activity to a non-desired activity, recess to reading). For the last 3 weeks he has been either the class “Super Star” or on green (which means a good day). After years of being on a waiting list for services we are going to get some services for Jack. He/we will get respite care and other services. I’m not all sure what that entails right now but trust me when I say it’s a great thing for him and for us!
I leave you with this!!! The best 3 minutes on the internet!!!