Not a ton is going on and really I have nothing to complain about however... I have so much going on in my little world that I feel I have to much on my plate. Really what I realized today is I need to make a to-do list! I have to start making lists or a schedule for myself so I know once this is done then do this. We make visual and written schedules for Jack at home and at school that I think I need one for myself too. A "Mommy To-Do List" if you will.
As you know I'm in an extreme fitness challenge at my gym at work. Well today was circuit training. Usually I LOVE circuit training however one of the exercises the trainer had us doing was almost impossible for me to do. It was hold plank while doing an upright row with a heavy weight (10-15 pounds). We were doing stations and it was go at your own pace but get the stations done. Well I was being lapped and I don't like to be lapped. Show me some one that likes to be in last place and I'll show you a last place person. I know that is harsh and wrong to feel but in my mind it's how I think when it comes to working out. So while doing the exercise I got over come with emotion and I finished my set and I had to walk out of the class room because I just broke down. The trainer leading the class came out to make sure I was OK and I told her how I felt and she encouraged me telling me I was doing a great job and to keep giving my best. So I went back in still crying and finished. I was the last one finished at the end but by the end I didn't feel like I lost but that I won. The old me would have said forget it, this is to hard, I'm out. I would have found an excuse to quit and let myself feel good about quitting although I wouldn't have called it "quitting" but just finding a reason to not finish.
So the lesson I learned today is to evenly portion the plate, give up some control, realize that the house is not going to be white glove clean 7 days a week (who am I kidding...this house will NEVER be white glove clean. I like to call the Little Lehman Pad an organized disaster), there will be dishes in the sink and always laundry to fold but I'm so thankful for my messes because it means I'm living a great life with my husband, kids and our adventures we have in our life! Most importantly I/we are doing what is necessary so that we can be around to do our best to keep the house white glove clean...HA RIGHT...WRONG! To expect perfection in this area while having children is almost laughable and the joke is on the one thinking it's possible!