I never thought I'd say this but I'm really thankful for hurting my left knee. It's not about just finishing but it's about enjoying the journey. Before I hurt my knee I did love what I was doing but I was out to really just prove more to others that I can do this more than doing this for me. I thought I was doing this for me but the more I reflect and look back I realize I did this more for others than myself.
While being on the injured reserved list in the beginning I was pissed off that I got hurt but you know what I think that injury was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm now re-building and really taking the time to listen to my body and learning when it's OK to run and when it's not or when it's OK to go all out on non run days or not.
While being out of commission I really was aware of what I was eating. Granted I could have done better but I was in a funk mentally over being injured that I maintained. The old me would have put a lot of what I've lost thus far back on. Now I'm writing in my sparkpeople.com journal almost daily, reading more about leading an active and healthy life, really being grateful during work outs that I'm able to do this. I live to sweat...The more sweat I get the more I just love it.
Today I was out running and it was beautiful. A little windy but all good. I purposefully ran into the wind so I could get more resistance and while running and the wind hitting my face and the sun beating down I was so thankful and I looked up to the sky and spread my arms out and said out loud (yes I talk out loud to myself while running) "THIS IS LIVING" Then to myself I said a little prayer thanking God for giving me the ability and the willingness to run. Today while running I was doing time goals. I would pick a mark up in the distance and say by the time my C25K app tells me to walk I want to be at that traffic light or that light pole. It was a good way to help test myself and keep my speed up. Now when I say speed know that I'm S-L-O-W!
Over the weekend Andy went on his annual fishing trip with his dad, brother, nephew and uncles and the kids and I were solo. Usually when he goes on his trip I spend the weekend with my mom and dad. I love the time with them and so do the kids. Saturday morning my mom wakes me up at 6:45 (because I told her to so we could get the run in before the storms that were coming) and she woke me up in a manner that took me right back to childhood. She came in and with her sweet and loving voice while rubbing my back saying "It's time to wake up". I thought I was 12 again. Man how I loved that! So we get up, get stretching and off we go. My mom can RUN. I told her she needs to run more often! Granted I'm super slow right now (doctors orders) but she took off.
This is my mother who one year ago was 90% blocked in 3 of her arteries in her heart. One year ago she had no idea why she was feeling so crummy. She would feel ok but then when ever she would go on a walk or take the stairs to her office at work she would have this radiating pain in her chest and back. My mom was so close to having a major heart attack. She had a triple bypass on July 1st last year and now she feels like a million bucks! That woman is my hero. I love her so much.
OK now I'm crying happy tears so I'll leave for now. I'm just so blessed in my life, I'm not rich financially but what I do have in life is priceless and I'm so blessed and rich with all the love I could ever need. I have a husband of almost 13 years who loves me more today than the day we said "I do", 2 parents who showed my sister and I what true love is and what it means to truly love your spouse, my husband's parents who showed him the same and his dad who taught him how to love his wife like Christ loved the Church, a sister who is beyond amazing, she is my rock and although she's 3 years younger than me she is so full of wisdom and at times isn't afraid to share it even when it's not wanted (lol), all of my extended family, in-laws, friends and most of all JC. For giving yourself for me who doesn't deserve it.
Today while walking into work I think I was grinning ear to ear. My knee felt great, I felt great, the morning was beautiful, despite the rolling of the eyes I got from my son earlier in the morning the kids were great, they got along and moving along in the AM with out any major blow ups, the air was crisp but warm and it smelled so good outside, just fresh. Life is great! It will have it's valleys for sure but for the most part it really is great and in all things negative there is a positive. I let myself have a pity party but then find the good in the situation.
OK wow that just got way out of hand...Blogger gone wild...Until next time.