How full is your plate???

Oh goodness has today been a roller coaster.  My plate is feeling so full right now that I have so much going on that I can't process it all at once and I don't know where to begin.  It's seriously ADD and I'm not ADD just life is ADD.  

Not a ton is going on and really I have nothing to complain about however... I have so much going on in my little world that I feel I have to much on my plate.  Really what I realized today is I need to make a to-do list!  I have to start making lists or a schedule for myself so I know once this is done then do this.  We make visual and written schedules for Jack at home and at school  that I think I need one for myself too.   A "Mommy To-Do List" if you will.  

As you know I'm in an extreme fitness challenge at my gym at work.  Well today was circuit training.  Usually I LOVE circuit training however one of the exercises the trainer had us doing was almost impossible for me to do.  It was hold plank while doing an upright row with a heavy weight (10-15 pounds).  We were doing stations and it was go at your own pace but get the stations done.  Well I was being lapped and I don't like to be lapped.  Show me some one that likes to be in last place and I'll show you a last place person.  I know that is harsh and wrong to feel but in my mind it's how I think when it comes to working out.  So while doing the exercise I got over come with emotion and I finished my set and I had to walk out of the class room because I just broke down.  The trainer leading the class came out to make sure I was OK and I told her how I felt and she encouraged me telling me I was doing a great job and to keep giving my best.  So I went back in still crying and finished.  I was the last one finished at the end but by the end I didn't feel like I lost but that I won.  The old me would have said forget it, this is to hard, I'm out.  I would have found an excuse to quit and let myself feel good about quitting although I wouldn't have called it "quitting" but just finding a reason to not finish.  

So the lesson I learned today is to evenly portion the plate, give up some control, realize that the house is not going to be white glove clean 7 days a week (who am I kidding...this house will NEVER be white glove clean.  I like to call the Little Lehman Pad an organized disaster), there will be dishes in the sink and always laundry to fold but I'm so thankful for my messes because it means I'm living a great life with my husband, kids and our adventures we have in our life!  Most importantly I/we are doing what is necessary so that we can be around to do our best to keep the house white glove clean...HA RIGHT...WRONG!   To expect perfection in this area while having children is almost laughable and the joke is on the one thinking it's possible!

Growing HUGE on the INSIDE while SHRINKING on the OUTSIDE

Hello from Dallas, TX.  I'm at a leadership event and had the honor to listen to Rick Goings give a lecture yesterday.  He talked about the science of personal achievement and gave eight steps. I'm going to share with you what they are and what they mean to me.  I'm not going to go into all of them right now because this blog would turn into a book so I'll break it up.   I'm going to to a little mini-series because it spoke so loudly to me and I feel like it's my responsibility to share this with anyone and everyone that reads this blog regardless if I know them personally or not.

Step 1:  MINDSET.  What is your life's philosophy?  What do you want to do when you grow up? What is your calling?  Do you journal?  How are you growing?

What is philosophy exactly?  Per dictionary.com it's "A system of principles for guidance in practical affairs."  So in life and weight loss you have to have a plan, if you don't have a plan then you really don't have much.

My current life philosophy is to always give thanks to the one that deserves it the most!  Things don't happen by accident and I don't believe in luck.  I believe in blessings.  Everything happens for a reason it's how you react to it is what will determine the outcome.  It might be an immediate reaction or it might be something that takes years.  I can think of so many things that have happened in my life that I wanted so bad and when they didn't turn out the way I thought it should then I was upset and now standing here today and reflecting back I'm so thankful that those desired events didn't happen.  I'm so thankful for the pain I endured to get to where I am today and you know what....I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED.   I haven't reached an 1/8 of my potential.  I can't imagine the blessings that will be poured over me and my family when I truly live by my life's philosophy.

What is your calling?  For me..My calling is to serve.  I love to serve others.  Sure I'm selfish and I want to have it all but in the process I want to touch as many hearts and lives that I can in all my actions not just in fitness and weight loss.  As many of you know I have a little side business that I run where I go and pamper busy women!  There is nothing that gives me greater joy then to go into a woman's home and pamper and spoil them.  You need the time for yourself and you deserve it!  Best of all I bring all the treatments and it's FREE!!  This isn't a sales pitch honestly but I'm just opening up a little about how I love to serve others and how by me providing service to you deeply feeds my soul and answers my calling.

I have had so many people come up to me and tell me how much they love my blog and that they never comment but read it and that they check to see if I've written anything new.  That means so much to me. I'm so inspired by others who truly love and live life.  We have to little time on this earth to be negative.  If you want something it is your job to go out and get it and if you don't go out there and get it then you don't have anything to complain about.  Now I'm not saying you never should be frustrated but take that frustration and say to yourself how can I turn this into a positive, what have I learned from this?  

How are you growing?  Well in my case I'm shrinking but that is only on the outside.  On the inside I'm growing by the minute.  Really focused on the end goal and the small goals in getting to the end.  Honestly there is no end.  I saw picture not long ago that said "Train like there is no finish line."  Simple as that...train as if there is no finish line.

So with that for now I leave you with....Get out there and train like there is no finish line...not just in fitness and weight loss but in your own life and your own personal growth and development.

Motivation (the title doesn’t tell the story)

WARNING:  This is not going to be a shiny, happy, pretty blog post


What motivates you? For me I would always say it was my family that motivated me, my friends who have been successful in their fitness and weight loss journeys, great sayings with pretty fit women posing their hot rock hard bodies telling us to “Just do it”, a community of like minded people doing what you’re doing in life and succeeding (for example, SparkPeople, dailymile and facebook groups). All of these are great tools to help one stay motivated and they have helped me.

I’m no longer motivated but I’m on FIRE! You want to know what has put a fire under my butt…HATERS! Until recently I’ve NEVER experienced what it was like to truly have someone bash me for trying to be the best that I can be for myself, my husband and my kids.

Back story quick…As you know my 6 year old is on the high end of the autism spectrum and was diagnosed when he was 3 years old (his official Dx is PDD-NOS and he has been and still at times can be very physically aggressive because his expressive language is delayed) and we’ve done all we can do and will always do all we can do to make him the best child he can be. Recently I was told by someone this: “Jack (my son) won't behave is because you spend time on so many things, marathons, magazine competitions, holistic therapies, while never being trained by a professional behavior specialist (we've been seeing trained professionals since he was 3) on how to care for your child. You were told by multiple people to get Jack evaluated and get services from the day he was diagnosed and you waited ...what...2...3 years while you, your children, and children of others got beat up (Jack has received services since he was Dx, not stated funded services until very recently...read below for that update).” When I first read that I thought OMG how can anyone say such hateful things to me and I felt like I wanted to die and in true Tiffany Lehman fashion cried like a baby, full on cry, not being able to breathe cry, shoulders moving up and down, belting out weird noises cry, face red and headache cry…you get the picture. I felt guilty for trying to better myself so I can be better for Andy, Anna, Jack, other family members, friends, God, work, etc. I spent a lot of time letting that comment really get to me and it hurt to the bottom of my soul.

So now the sadness and anger is over and it’s full on! How dare I let someone more or less tell me I’m a bad parent because I want to get out of the morbidly obese range and be fully present in the lives of those that I love the most and those that need me to show up. How dare I try to make my sons symptoms of autism be treated first and foremost by diet, vitamins, minerals, thearipies, etc before I turn to western medicne.  How dare I give this person the time of day because the more time I give this person in my mind means that I care and you know what I DON'T.  What I do care about is being the best me I can be, being the best wife I can be, being the best mother I can be, being the best friend I can be, etc, etc, etc.  So you know what I say to the haters…BRING IT ON…You will no longer get a second of my time, you have no power over me but I will channel your anger, your bitterness and your venom to push me to be stronger and to do all that I can do for myself, my husband and my kids.

So I guess in the end…Maybe I should thank this person????  We’ll see how the results pan out, with my son, with my journey to be fit, healthy and to continue to be the best wife and mom I can be. I will say to this person thank you for giving me the blazing fire that I need to make sure that I am the best me I can be and we are the best family we can be.

For anyone wondering how Jack is doing right now…Autism is a daily thing and it will never just go away after taking 10 days of medicine like an ear infection. It is here for the long haul but I can report nothing but good news. Jack is doing amazing! He is doing so well in school, he’s bright, he’s communicating his needs and wants much better, he’s getting along well with his teachers and peers and he’s also being really nice to his big sister, Anna. What the teachers tell him to do he’s doing without causing any troubles for them, transactions are easier for him (he struggled going from a desired activity to a non-desired activity, recess to reading). For the last 3 weeks he has been either the class “Super Star” or on green (which means a good day). After years of being on a waiting list for services we are going to get some services for Jack. He/we will get respite care and other services. I’m not all sure what that entails right now but trust me when I say it’s a great thing for him and for us!

I leave you with this!!!  The best 3 minutes on the internet!!!

Ode to my sweet Andy

Oh Andy how do I love thee...let me count the ways.

I just wanted to take a minute to write a blog about my precious husband.  I love him more today than I did the day I said "I do".  I've known he was the one by the time we went out on our 2nd date, New Years Eve 1996.  His face is so sweet, round, nice, happy, caring and his eyes twinkle.  He's my gentle giant with hands that are so soft and sweet but equally big and strong.  He has amazing wisdom and and even better sense of humor. He's crazy smart not only in books but in life.  He is such an amazing cook (Mom, you were right I needed a man that can cook and thank God I found him).  What he loves he is so passionate about.  He's simple and doesn't require much and his life is an act of service.  He is always serving others before himself.  He is devoted to God, me, to our kids, the family outside our 4 walls, friends and would do anything to help in times of need.

We've been married for 13 years together for almost 15.  We have had many more ups than downs but the times in the down is when we've become stronger.  When the love isn't about romance and flowers but trust and respect.  To know you can trust a single person with everything and to know that no matter what he will always be there loving me unconditionally.  That is powerful.

Andy has been and is my rock...You are my shelter, my best friend, my comic, my personal weather man and you're all mine.  You're stuck with me until we are parted by death.

Thank you Andy for giving me the freedom to do what I want, for letting me be bossy only to realize that really I should have listened more to you and for not throwing it my face when really I deserved it.  Thank you for your constant and un-wavering support in all that makes me passionate about my life, our lives and our kids' lives.

Thank you for giving me you... I love you, then, now, forever and always!

I heard this song today for the first time and it touched my soul.

I love you and I thank God for you every day...Thank you for being mine!  

39...The Year of ME

I'm very proud to say that I'm 39.  I don't hide behind my age I get better with age.  I'm like a fine red wine, I get better with age.  OK so enough of me and my obnoxious self.

At first when I set out 2012 it was about what this year was going to do for ME.  All month leading up to today it's been about how I'm going to change this and I'm going to change that and I'm going to do it for me.  Well today I had such mixed emotions knowing that I really can't just do this for ME.  It has to be about others.  Today I realized that I want to improve my health, wellness, waistline, and athletic ability for myself but also so that I can be around a long time for my wonderful husband, so we're able to grow old together and have a fun life, watch our kids grow from babies, to toddlers, to school agers, to middle school, to high school, college, first heartbreak, first time they fall in love and when they get married and have their own kids and finally figure out how GENIUS mom and dad truly are (Yes, Tom & Cathy Syferd...you are genius) ...but seriously this is what I want in my life.  I don't want to be tired because I am to heavy, I want to be tired because I worked my tail off all day and at the end of the day I truly need rest so I can be strong and serve.

Serving to me is showing others love and showing God's grace and mercy.  Serving is taking care of my body so I can serve the way I feel the Lord calling me to serve.  I really don't know what this looks like in a year, 2 years, etc but I know God does.

Today while running I was really not having a good run.  I really just wanted to kind of mope and fizzle.  About half way in I said to myself..come on you can do this....just do it and own it.  Then I remembered my good friend, Connie and her husband, Don and how they started their weight loss journey and their passion of running exactly 2 years ago.  They have come so far and have gained so much of their lives back this is what I want for myself and for Andy.

I realize that while I take time for myself to work on my health and physical appearance that it's not selfish and it's not just about the year of ME it's about the year of you and how on this journey I hope to serve as many as needed.

Thanks for letting me share this with you and thank you for all the well wishes on my facebook wall, emails, texts, and phone calls.  I really like to use my car as a reflection tool and like many I use this time to talk to God.  Just talk.  I guess you'd say prayer but God wants a personal relationship so I talk and He listens and when I am quiet long enough I hear him whisper and I know when I hear that whisper I really need to listen.  I'm so blessed....just beyond measure.

Happy New Year!!

Hello...I haven't seen you here in a while.  What happened to you?

I am so proud of achieving my goal of completing my half marathon last October.  What I failed to do after doing that was to right away have other events in line to train for and to help stay on focus.  I experienced the post race blues.  The week after the half I was in so much pain there was no way I could work out in the least.  Then I would go to the gym and the pats on the back and way to go's wore off and so did my spirit for running and really for any kind of fitness or weight loss because let's face it...this skinny girl is still trapped in a fat body.

I won't bore you with excuses of why I didn't work out, why I didn't eat right, why I gain 15 pounds from the half to 12/26/11 when I decided that was it.  I'm DONE.  Funny how life comes and goes.  Christmas comes and goes...you have the parties, the food, the wine, cookies, etc and life is just bliss but when it's all over and you're lying in bed on Christmas night reflecting on how you're so thankful for all you have and what events transpired to give us Christmas and as the house is quiet and things are scattered the tired sits in and you start to reflect...man I fell really fat.  I need to get on the scale tomorrow morning and just see the damage and re-start and re-focus.

Side Note here:  Don't you love the idea of a new year?  Maybe I'm just corny that way and if so...I really don't care but I love the thought of a new year.  You get to start fresh and new.  My daughter has been sick this last weekend and I was home with her today and watching the Today Show on NBC and there was a woman on the show talking about willpower and how we all have it but we have to train it.  It's just like training for a race...You don't just say I'm going to run 13.1 miles and do it tomorrow, it takes time to be able to build up to the point of being able to do that race and it takes willpower.  We have to flex our willpower muscles.  I thought that was just a brilliant idea!

The morning of 12/26/11 I get on the scale and see the dreaded number  and think holy Sh*t what have I done!?!?!?!  The past me would have started crying and internalized telling myself how much of a failure I was and how sure I did this half marathon thing but you didn't "run it" you're not a real runner you had to walk more than half of the race, blah, blah, blah ....self hate, self hate, self hate.... Rather than do all that I said this is it I'm taking myself back.  NO MORE EXCUSES.   I told Andy, my husband, the number on the scale and I said I'm not telling you this for pitty or for you to coddle me and try to fix it but I'm telling you so you know where I'm starting and you can help hold me accountable the way I'm going to hold you accountable.  I came to the realization that I either do it or I don't and you know what if I don't I'm only hurting yourself and those that love me the most.  Since December 26th I've worked out daily.  I've ran 6 miles total and I've worked out (non-running) for a total of 110 minutes.

So my plans for 2012 are to train like there is no finish line.  Life is a daily race and I have to endure it and finish it.  I am hoping to have an event planned for every month in 2012 so that I can stay focused on the event and know what is coming and know what I have to train for physically and mentally.  January I'm going to train like no other.  I'm going to kick my own A$% in the gym (by the way my gym got a rowing machine...I can not wait to kill that thing), The annual red flannel run is on Feb 11th, American Lung Association's Fight For Air Climb is in March.  This will be my 3rd year doing this climb.  April, Loop the Lake, May..Not sure...June Dam to Dam and I want to do the 20K, July, August and September not sure but October RUN (not walk at all) The Des Moines Marathon (for me the half).

To help aid in my weight loss I'm currently doing an online challenge on SparkPeople doing the January Jump Start and that combines strength and cardio together.  I will win the iPad 2 as the grand prize (yea right but a girl can dream can't she??), In February the gym I'm a member of is starting a Kosama type work out program and I'm going to join that and of course run as well.

So that is where I've been and where I'm going.  I have claimed 2012 to be MY year!  I will be 39 years old on January 17th and I will not go into my 40's being obese.  So bye bye you great little girl who is almost 39 and chubby and here's to 40 and fabulous!!!  I can't wait to see how 2012 unfolds.

One Week Post 13.1 Miles

One week ago today I was almost in tears due to the amount of pain I was in due to the run/walk I did the day before. If some one would have said you're going to be so sore you will not sleep the night you finished your race and the next day hardly be able to walk chances are I would have said thanks but I guess this isn't for me.  Sunday night my feet hurt so bad it felt like some one was stabbing me with a knife in the bottom of my feet.  I would drift off to sleep only to feel the jab in the bottom of my feet.  I was in so much pain there was no amount of Advil to take the pain away and I had to move from my bed to the couch so I wouldn't deprive Andy, my husband, of the sleep he needed to get the week off and going.

Monday I get up to get ready for work and it's all I can do to move.  The pain is so bad in my butt, legs, hamstrings, and feet that I'm in tears.  Not crying but just tears due to pain.  It literally takes me 15 minutes to walk from my car in the parking lot at work to my desk (usually it's about a 3 minute walk from the car to my desk).  I see my buddy at work and she tells me congrats, asks me how it went, and I start crying just like I did the day before.  The flood of emotions just came over me again.

Monday morning as the day goes on I think, never again will I endure a half marathon let alone a full marathon who am I kidding thinking I'm cut out for this. So Monday comes and goes.  Tuesday still in a lot of pain and I find out from a co-work who is also a track coach that the soles of my feet are probably having an allergic reaction due to being in the shoes for 4 hours, pounding pavement, sweating, etc.  She gave me a helpful hint that if you're going on a really long run to spray your feet with deodorant, spray the inside of your shoes too.  This will help your feet not to sweat hence no itchy, stabbing feelings on the bottom of your soles.  Wednesday I'm still sore but moving around a lot better.  I take my little foam roller into work and use that as my foot rest and while working just roll my feet up and down the roller, stretching out my legs.  Thursday I'm about 95% back to normal and I think I so can do this again.  I can't wait to do another half marathon and I'm back to thinking I can maybe, just maybe do a full marathon when I'm 40 (2 years from now).  Thursday I go for a brisk walk and do about 2 miles in 30 minutes.  Friday feeling 100%, the day was PERFECT and I was kicking myself for not bringing my running clothes to work so I could go for a run during lunch.  I planned on walking but then work got crazy busy and no walking for me.

Over the weekend I thought what is my next goal?  Because I'm the person that if I don't have something I'm working towards it can quickly fizzle out.  So my new goal is to increase my speed and run at a faster speed for longer periods of time.  Keep in mind I'm short and stocky...as my dad likes to say "Us Syferd's are built low to the ground and for endurance" (LOL).  I'm 5' 3" and in the past the fastest I could run was about 4mph.  Starting today I re-started the couch to 5K program and rather than just trying to run I'm going to run from 5.5mph to 5mph and walk at 3.5mph when the man on the iPod says in his monotone voice "WALK".  So today was my first day of this program and it felt so good.  I got nasty pig sweaty gross.  I think I left a pound of sweat on the treadmill.  I love it!!! There is really nothing better than just getting sick sweaty!!  Most read this and think ewww gross but there are a few that I know will say awww *beep* ya...I love it too!!!

On the days I'm not running I'm going to be focusing on strength.  Strength training and core training is something I neglected in preparing for the race so I'm going to be doing that.

So here's to one goal down and many more to go!!!